So pancakes gave way to chicken wings Saturday morning, which was a spicy start to the day. I wasn’t so sure I could handle it at first, but Matt made some mighty fine wings. All in honor of App State playing LSU bright and shiny in the a.m. I had to, however, forego the beer for a glass of milk with mine. Unfortunately the wings turned out better than the game seems to be shaping up. And like wings for breakfast, this has been a crazy week. I started my psych rotation this past Monday. For starters, we’re not allowed to wear our scrubs. Now this greatly disappoints me, not because I’m that psyched about wearing scrubs but because I long for the freedom of knowing exactly what I’m gonna wear everyday. No thought, no anxiety, no trying on multiple shirts before I leave the house and no “I can’t wear this … I’m having a fat day.”  I’ll still be wearing them on Tues and Wed but on Mondays I actually have to dress up. Do you know how many years it’s been since I’ve had to dress up? Too many. I had to go shopping, which normally would be exciting, but I kinda blew my new stuff budget tax-free weekend on a new Mac. So I went to JC Penney and Target, grabbed a few things and will likely be rotating between two pairs of pants for the entire semester. I had to take my nose piercing out and I have to carry a key to go to the bathroom. In fact, I have to carry a key with me at all times to go through any door.  They’re locked wards we’re working on, so no one gets in or out without the key. It’s a very institutionalized, but that’s exactly why we can’t wear scrubs – it apparently increases the “institutional” feeling. I’m working on the geriatric unit which, as you can imagine, will be a lot of old folks with dementia and Alzheimer’s and the crisis intervention unit which will be a lot of people detoxing from illegal substances and suicide attempts. I have to admit I’m more than a little nervous because our aim this semester is not to learn how to give these folks shots or change their sheets, it’s to learn how to talk to them – this semester we play the role of the nurse therapist. I think I’d be more comfortable dumping their bed pans than working my way inside their thoughts. But maybe I can at least hope to come out of this rotation knowing that there are people out there crazier than me! I’ll let you know how that goes.  

I am stalking a dress. At least that’s how a friend of mine put it. I feel like almost any bride would agree that, aside from the man next to you at the end of the aisle, the dress is the most important element of your wedding. I’ve had a lot of people asking me lately if I have a dress yet. The truth is, I have. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it on the glossy magazine page. I called one of the local retailers that carries the designer and they ordered the store sample in my size. All I have to do is go and try it on. The only trouble is, it’s $2,000. $2,000! Wow, did I mention that I’m jobless and most of our wedding will be going on credit cards until I’m a nurse, which in all likelihood, will be AFTER the wedding? I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not THAT high of a price tag, considering what some brides pay. Then again, we don’t have some brides’ budgets. And people on budgets comparable to ours don’t pay $2,000 for a wedding dress. But what is a girl to do when, like her groom, it’s THE ONE? I haven’t been to try it on partly because I’m trying to work out a little before I go trying on dresses – you know how that goes … the last situation a girl wants to feel gross and fat in is when she is trying on wedding dresses. And partly because I’m worried that if I try it on, I won’t be able to resist it. So for now, I am stalking it from afar. 

So many things have occured since my first blog. My first post was not intended to be my last for a very long while, but life happened, as it tends to, and I’ve had a lot to take care of since February. I owe my Muse for my return to writing. I read her food blog and was inspired. You should too – www.cookincarrie.wordpress.com  Also, I was staying with two college friends of mine the other weekend and one of them asked if I was still writing and I was ashamed to say “no.” 

My most time-consuming development as of late has been my acceptance into nursing school. Having just completed my first semester, I could never have dreamed it would be this hard. I mean – I’m a big nerd…I wasn’t expecting to struggle that much academically, but I made my first B- and I’m OK with it – really. Pharmacology was hard! Matt and I and our two dogs moved in together in a small apartment in Carrboro where I can take the bus. I quit my job as a copy editor and took a contract to work for UNC Hospitals when I graduate – so they’re paying my tuition and my rent. I love living in the vascinity of a trader joes, whole foods, weaver street, and southern season, though I should, in all reality, be shopping at wal-mart so that I’ll still have money to eat by the time my last semester rolls around. All-in-all times are a little stressful but also very exciting. You’ll hear all about it soon as I’m making a contract with myself to take time to write once a week – probably on saturdays, probably after pancakes.

I guess because I’m on the precipise of so many changes that I need a place to process the river raging through my mind. I need to take more time to organize my ideas, my frustrations, my triumphs and my hopes in preparation for so many things to come. Every Saturday morning Matt (my now fiance) and I make breakfast – usually pancakes, french toast if I’m feeling motivated. He says my french toast tastes better, so I always cook the french toast. This morning I made fresh ginger french toast. We make coffee and we sit down to breakfast together on the couch and discuss the movie we watched last night or what we dreamed or where we’d like to go today. It’s warm and it’s filling in so many ways. It’s the time in my week that I most look forward to and the place in my life that I feel the most comfortable.